For the same reasons it’s not a good idea to lay into your current employer in a job interview, it’s best not to shit on members of your ‘team’ when looking for other people to join that same ‘team’. Here is one band’s attempt at gaining a booking agent.

Greetings
I am the singer of [Some Band].
Our manager is incapable of attaining a decent booking agent for us here in England
So here I am emailing you. We have booking agents in Switzerland, Holland, Germany, Spain and Texas. Chile and Brazil are pending.
We have pending negotiations with agents in Boston and other parts of America and Europe.
We are in the finals of the people’s music awards for best rock/indie song of 2009 with our hit [Some Song Or Other]
We are off to Boston in 2 weeks to perform a presentation for the NACA, to climb upon the university circuit in America,
So as you can see we are a hard working band with potential, being suffocated by our manager

This problem is getting solved, but here’s my quarrel.
Because he’s executed such an asinine job of managing [the band], the gigs we are doing in England are dyer [I think he means "dire"].
We can get them easily, but they’re no good. We want some decent gigs to show people our music
Could you email me if there is even a chance of you working with us please?
Our songs, I’m sure you will agree, stand up to any band. We record in Germany where we have a recording deal with a big producer.
And a publishing deal with [someone that, when Googled, appears to be a video director and not actually a publisher. How queer].
I don’t know much about this business to be honest, but maybe we could latch onto one of your touring bands as support??
Hey, you don’t get if you don’t ask right??
Please email me back either way
Thank you for you time

That was sent to 15 people at the same company. Fair dos for them doing the research. It was at least a better attempt than this, which contains far too much comedy gold…