midasuno rip

Oof! Bit of a long one. Our submitter writes: “Here’s a totally genuine press statement released in 2005 by Midasuno, a rock band from Merthyr Tydfil. Oh yes. You probably won’t have heard of them, but the singer was clearly expecting front page headlines after they decided to change their name. For some reason it warranted 1,500 words.

“Incidentally, they never did change their name. I believe they took a bit of time out, then issued their one and only album (‘Songs In The Key Of Fuck’ – oh God) before splitting up. I don’t know if there was another press release to accompany that seismic event.”

Midasuno Statement – 13.11.05

This is the score. On Friday 2nd December, the band known as ‘MIDASUNO’ will perform what will be their last show. Following over 5 years of fantastic highs and even better lows, the three remaining members from the original line-up (Gavin Jessop, Matt Riste and Myself) along with the additions to that line-up (Ryan Day, Lyndon Jones and Chris Morgan are to give ‘Midasuno’ a final kiss-off show, to help us close a chapter in our lives. As Midasuno we’ve had so many amazing experiences, seen some unbelievable sights and achieved so much that I personally never thought we could. Toured with and performed alongside amazing bands, getting records released and available as far as Asia and the US of motherfucking A. Most importantly, meeting the people who bought our records, came to the shows and supported the band – it is to YOU we will always be in debt to.

Since we parted ways with Guitarist Steven Hopkins, the dynamic of the band suffered massive change, some say for the better and some for the worse. We were lucky enough to then find a worthy replacement (suggested so by Steve himself) in Chris Morgan, whose energy helped keep the ship afloat. Months later, our good friend / web geek & artworkist Lyndon Jones, who had previously triggered our interludes and samples from the shadows joined us on stage and became the illusive ’5th’ member. By this point, we’d toured as a 3, 4 and 5 piece band. Then, following a drunken conversation, we decided to try out, (not just at a practise, but for an 8-date tour, with 5 hours prior rehearsal and a weeks notice) Pete’s Sake’s Ryan Day on guitar, leaving myself to solely handle vocal duties.

I realised that I had never felt so comfortable with this arrangement, not to wallow in some ego-fuelled dreams of being Axl Rose, but because by concentrating on one thing allowed me to perform better, therefore making the songs better. Add the fact that Ryan’s guitar playing further tightened the band beyond what we thought was possible. Writing new songs would now mean I wouldn’t have to limit the songs to what I could manage to perform live, now we could try anything without my performance holding my song writing back.

What followed this was a shocking realisation. We’d basically grown as a band in public – from being musical nappies, aural puberty blah blah, you can see where I’m going. We had never taken time off over the past five years to develop and grow and show a marked improvement as a band who have the ambition to reach as many people as possible – we’d always do this in front of people, always had our place in the deep end. Watching the band go from a band who thought they were good back in 2000 (hahaha I know! The cheek of it!) to a band who are now really fucking good. We’d perform new songs to crowds when we’d never been in the same room to learn them together, jump at every gig possibility and did most of our rehearsals live.

This sounds so exciting having read it down, really rock n fucking roll, ‘punk rock’ or whatever you want to call it. Fuck yeah! For any ‘local’ band (definition in this case: a band who do not properly ‘tour’ and have not managed to get something released so that people can get into the band from different areas of the country) this is fantastic, will get you your ‘cred’ and legendary circuit status, but beyond your faithful, it’s not really enough.

We’ve taken the belief of our following – claiming us to be a good / great / amazing / whatever band and decided that we want to turn the band into what WE consider a fucking frighteningly good band – a band who your band wouldn’t want to be on the same bill as, but at the same time couldn’t help humming along to every song and telling the world about. Real passion with fuck all to do with fashion. To do this, we believe we need change. This is personal.

Midasuno is not the same band – musically, mentally, physically, well ANY way it could be different from the band that released ‘When Bulls Play God’. With the current line-up, playing under the guise of ‘Midasuno’ to me seems sharing dirty bathwater with people who you’d rather not have to do this with. We have all progressed in all ways possible, to the point that we need to christen this change with a new moniker for the band to perform, promote and release records under. This may cost the band 5 years of promotion and hard work, may put us back at the bottom of bills, may mean we have to do it all again. But that is the beauty of having a focus. We want to do things again, but be ready for everything that would come at us, to have a fresh take on things. We will still rock, only harder, better, bigger more more more.

Now this is my way of trying to explain why we are doing this, a chance to try and let our supporters know why we are doing this, if you have a grasp of the history of this band you’ll have seen the change we have undergone.

We are not just a band changing our name because we haven’t achieved what have wanted to. Because we ARE a different band – example, if you take a can of coke, empty out the coke and replace it with bits of paper, the contents are not the same. Even though it says ‘Coke’ on the can, what’s inside hasbeen replaced by something different. I’m not saying bits of paper taste nicer than coke, but what this band is now, performing under the guise of ‘Midasuno’ is kinda false advertising, well from how much we have changed and will continue to evolve.

Change isn’t always a good thing, but in our case, is vital to the future of this band even carrying on. By renaming the band we are creating a bond between the six members, join us altogether before we get ready for the release of our recorded material. Our new name will bind us all with an equal bearing, a blank page to align our visions, direction and attitudes together and bond us as a band whose history is yet to be made. We will all be in a new band; all have ex-bands but be united as a new force.

We now hoping that you, the awesome people who have supported ‘Midasuno’ will continue to support us – ‘Songs in the key of Fuck’ – the record that ‘Midasuno’ were to release as their debut full-length record is very much safe, it will be the debut full length record under our new name. In fact, the reason why this record has taken so long is that following the initial recording sessions for the album, I have writing more tunes, better songs than what I had previously written. We now have 20 + songs ready to choose from. What I can tell you guys is that we now have TWO releases planned by summer ’06 allowing us to get even more music out to you.

Something that will either make you jump for joy / disgust you beyond words is that 3 of the songs we released as ‘Midasuno’ have been reworked, re-jigged and will see the light on day both on CD and on the live stage again, we’ll leave those songs a mystery for the moment. I personally don’t give a flying fuck if this grates anyone – the songs in question have transformed over the years and have still not received the justice they deserve.

The new name? We are going to make it official on December 3rd 2005 – we have a new website in the pipeline, until then the band’s Myspace page will suffice to keep you guys up-to-date. We’ve got artwork, merch, and release artwork almost ready. We will let you know following the last show as ‘Midasuno’. The new band will spend the rest of the winter rehearsing and recording and, well, you’ll know the full low-down on December 3rd. It’s a Sunday by the way.

We will not performing again until we have our new campaign up and fully running, which will be early 2006. Therefore all shows ‘Midasuno’ were due to perform at after December 2nd are now CANCELLED, we are gutted to announce, but we need to get straight to work on our new material, getting ready to assault your yugs with next year.

Scott Andrews (Midasuno)

!

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hippies

An optimistic Welsh band writes to a radio station:

I hope your day is going great and that you are very well !! .
I will write you a little and try and express my feelings so it can be understood where we are coming from :)
I represent an amazing new musical group called ****… Our first Single is set for release in the week starting 17th August, this proceeds the Debut Album set for release first week in September … We are financing the first run of 1000 cd’s and will be acting as a record company … We have turned down some Independent Labels as our network of friends will cover the requirements for such a small run … What we’ve got here is very special and with due respect to all involved, we can see the greatness, and can feel what is “in the post” … The Album sounds beautiful !!! and the harmonies speak to us all :)

We have been invited by the President of The Global Alliance of Departments and Ministries for Peace to play a show supporting the Global Peace Summit in Costa Rica. There will be gigs all over the world on this day, but the president has asked us to play at the place of “the” Summit in Central America… She heard of us through word of mouth and you can imagine our Joy that news had spread so far of the Music and Good vibrations that we make :) … We were told that, as the show will be part of a fundraiser we would have to find our way there, It just wouldn’t be fair to pay the few thousand pounds it would cost to fly us over, but once their we would be looked after so well!!! … could you imagine the follow on effects from doing a gig such as this??? … A band from Wrecsam are playing at a Global Peace summit in Costa Rica ??? Whatever next??? … Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!

… and may I be so bold as to say that this type of news is dearly needed … What we focus on becomes our reality! … Is it possible that to achieve peace we have to focus on it? not on why we are at war … I believe so!!! I also believe that in their best dreams and best wishes and best thoughts … every Man, Woman and Child wishes for peace … And we plan to spread this message until as many people can hear have heard … This is the how! The seed of a possibility :) How could this be shown to people??? Television??? what style of program??? any ideas are more than welcome and maybe something incredible can come from this.

Thank-you for reading, If this sounds all a bit to much please feel at ease, I expect nothing from you :)
I could write all day of the music and the band and the people we are meeting, In Barcelona we played at a peace day celebration … the local community gathered and celebrated peace :) …. they all held a 200 meter scarf in the air in massive circle and John Lennons ‘Imagine’ was played loud and proud from the stage … “Sant Just (the name of the area) for peace” they shouted !!! “Pau per tothom” !!! “Peace for Every-one” and they meant it !!!!!!! We are meeting people like this all the time now …

:)
As i say, I have more to talk about, another time maybe :P!
Wishing you a brilliant day my friend

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more from glasgow

More yuck.

Headed by guitarist “Big Bad Bad”,
Drums and backing vocals supplied by Micheal Smith, formerly of Rune.
Bass and respectability; Rob Reid.
Slow Hands In The Badlands started with the intention of working with a rock formula that hadn’t been developed since bands like Queens of the Stone age reinvented the term “guitar band”, and Slow Hands have fused influences from the 70’s hard rock era with this mentality to bring a new, downtuned, epic sound to an indie-stagnant music scene.
Guitarist and singer Big Bad Bad has side projects including an acoustic career and the occaisional stint as a session musician, and has ensured that a raw and edgey taste is ripe within Slow Hands’ sound. He also introduced Rob to the joys of bass playing, and quickly snapped him up as an original member. Michael Smith enjoyed a healthy industrial career in the band “Rune”, who were frequently marked as the best emerging band of their genre. Bad tends to sheepishly admit he might have “killed them” by poaching Smith, who generally leaves a crowd open mouthed, and somewhat jelous when he gets behind the kit.
Slow Hands have been gigging professionally for almost 10 months, beginning shortly after Micheal’s recruitment. Loudness and groove are the hallmarks of a quality gig, and SHBL never leave a moment’s silence that could otherwise be filled by a downtuned powerchord. Impressed and kindly fans have this to say:

“Slow Hands In The Badlands use the rock formula devel- oped by bands such as Queens of the Stone Age and infuse influences from the 70’s hard rock era, resulting in downtuned, epic sounding, speaker-bursting rock joy. ” – Brian of Fudge Promotions
“the best rock band in Scotland?” – Acoustic musician Malcolm McMillan.
“you bastards stole the best drummer I know” – Alisdair Quietsch of Rune”

Our submitter writes: “This is an awful band from Glasgow, with a hilariously arrogant bio. Funniest bit is the compliments at the end, the second one is from the singers dad and the third one is from one of their friends.”

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revised paragraph structure needed

The best way to describe [some guy from the band] is like The Stig from “Top Gear”. Elusive, secretive, seen only in disguise and he could steal the sweeties from your pocket without you even noticing…….. But boy can he Write and produce a great tune!

I think these guys have misunderstood what The Stig does.

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all hail

… the Basingstoke Gazette.

basingstoke gazette

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the band slowly fell apart

A five-piece modern Metal/Emo band from Glasgow. Zynk formed in 2003, they developed into a band with shining confidence and attitude which can be seen on and off stage. Zynk constantly perform to a loyal fan base all over the UK. Showing that the music and the fans are what it’s really all about.
Being very tight for a young band and having a lot of potential. The bands consistency to own the stage they play on makes every performance worthwhile and a pleasure to see and hear.

Involved in Europes biggest unsigned festival and recognised as one of Scotlands leading unsigned band, The guys continue to improve their sound every show they perform. With Influences such as Story of the Year, Funeral For a Friend, and Bullet For My Valentine its no wonder they they have been noticed as one of Glasgow’s best bands.

Zynk have received great reviews on several occasions as they have coasted there way throughout the west of Scotland, playing in some of the biggest venues most notabley the Cathouse, London’s Camden Underworld and Glasgow’s Carling Academy .

But in early 2007 due to the departure of Craig Maclean from the band, the band slowly fell apart. But the band all stil remain friends and are all still commited to writing music in some other form (except Jordan…he just gave up!). [Amazing - Ed.]

What People are saying

“Undoubtedly, Zynk will go down a treat with the Teenagers who love Slipknot and Linkin Park” – David Wynne, EK news

“Lots of confidence and attitude. Very tight for a young band. Lots of potential. Could be the real deal. Looked like a proper band unit.” —- Judge from Emergenza competition Carling Academy.

“Very powerful! A band to watch and listen to, time and time again!” — John Keeble, former drummer of Spandau Ballet [amazing - Ed.]

“Zynk possess a very tight sound: powerful, explosive and varied. Skill and finesse shown through-out which renders great potential. Mix of styles emphasises flexibility and portrays various influences.” – Requiem Records

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shameless back-slapping (an occasional series. maybe)

Yeah, these girls know their shit. “Funniest blog ever”. Cheers ladies!

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it’s a fucking bowling for soup press release

BOWLING FOR SOUP SET TO RELEASE THEIR TENTH STUDIO RELEASE

TENTH?!

The Denton, TX natives return with their new single and video ‘My Wena’ that showcases their one-of-a-kind brand of fun-pop/punk… The single ‘My Wena’ is a hilarious love song that only Bowling For Soup could pull off. With their trademark style of tongue in cheek lyrics, ‘My Wena’ is filled with double entendre references about the singer’s girlfriend, Wena. The video is equally hilarious…

The UK tour is called Party In Your Pants. ‘Hilarious.’

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can i speak to one of the festival organisers?

Something a bit different this time. Our submitter writes: “We’re currently about 3 weeks away from putting on a festival and therefore working round the clock, surviving on Kit Kats and crying blood. The girl who takes care of our Facebook stuff was also working this evening and a character called Daniel popped up. What followed made us laugh for a while, but also feel a bit sad for humanity. Strangely, 99% of the bands we turn down for the festival are really lovely – even the band who informed us we were making a huge mistake as they were about to embark on a huge tour supporting The Proclaimers.”

Transcription follows.

Daniel:
Hallo there

Abbie [from the festival]:
hey :)

Daniel:
Can I speak to one of the Festival organisers?
I’ve been e mailing you for along while

Abbie:
unfortunately i only do the facebook :)

Daniel:
but have not received any respopnse
It is about a band booking for [the festival]
Who can I contact directly and on what tel numbers or e mails to receive a response?

Abbie:
ah ok, i know they receive a ton of emails, especially from bands
2000 artists submitted their details this year

Daniel:
They may do

Abbie:
and all stages are booked now

Daniel:
But I approached the organisers perosnally

Abbie:
i’d imagine a lot of people did :)

Daniel:
and nobody bothered to respond either way
So who is in charge and available on wehat numbers and e mail addresses?
Can yopu rpovide me with their names and details?
In any case, who am I speaking to?
Are you one of the organisers?

Abbie:
no, i just do the facebook…
i can’t really pass on numbers

Daniel:
who can?
who can?

Abbie:
are you a booking agent?

Daniel:
How is the organiser to be contacted?
As e mais are never responded to?
?

Abbie:
who have you been emailing? they are incredibly busy, and unfortunately sometimes all emails can’t be responded to…are you a booking agent?

Daniel:
Check out my details on line – will tell you all about who I am and what I do
I thought if you were with the organisers you would have known of me! ?

Abbie:
i have said twice now i do the facebook
which band are you representing?

Daniel:
I am [names band] band manager
[names some acronym] Music Management Group

Abbie:
do you have a website?

Daniel:
all deails available from here

Abbie:
i don’t really need details to be honest, i just googled “[name of management company]” and nothing came up.

Daniel:
Either way, what you can do is to tell organisers to contact me

Abbie:
how long have you been booking for artists Daniel, because it doesn’t really work like that…unless a band is well known
then they go to the agents, etc

Daniel:
?
Who am I speaking to ?
Can you identify yourself?

Abbie:
yes, my names abbie, i work on the facebook for [XXXX] Festival…

Daniel:
ok
Many thanks
How old are you?

Abbie:
this is getting a bit weird…?
i’m 25

Daniel:
Many thx
So how can I get hold of the organisers?

Abbie:
i thought you’d been in touch already? who had you been in touch with?

Daniel:
As they are not responding to written correspondence

Abbie:
what is it regarding?

Daniel:
Ok Abby I thank you for your help so far
I ll ask one of my assistants to get hold of the otganisers
So far received no repsonse at all

Abbie:
in regards…?

Daniel:
Regarding band bookings

Abbie:
all bands are booked Daniel.

Daniel:
I thank you for your help so far, but I really need to speak to the otganisers
Good night

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how to make your band desirable to booking agents

This is not the way.

1) Musician asks agent if they would be able to book him a European tour.
2) Musicain gets turned down by agent.
3) Musician responds:

Hey, we’re a pretty tight and self sufficient unit. It won’t be baby sitting for you! Just rack up some shows and send us off!

Yup, that’ll do it.

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bad journalism

This paradoxical aspect of Lady Gaga is something that deserves to be analyzed and understood. While masses of young people imitate Gaga’s brain-dead persona, the subversive symbolism surrounding her art still reaches the fan’s subconscious. She is not the Antichrist though (last I’ve heard), she is simply one of the many pop stars sending out similar messages to the public. Combined with Hollywood movies, TV shows and commercials, media outlets are programming young minds to think and act a specific way.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.

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how to make your band desirable to promoters

This is not the way.

We would be interested in coming down. On average how many people do you get in? Bareing in mind we can’t bring a single person. It’s an exploration gig for us. Were hoping to tour early next year, so are trying to put our faces about before hand.

A few questions.

Would you make sure the headline band was an established local band that would pull a crowd?

Can you provide parking for our van?

How many people do you expect on average at your gigs?

Do you have at least 2 monitors? (one for the singer and one for the drummer?)

Do you provide a drinks rider?

I hope to hear from you soon.

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shut up, wiki contributors

On Amy Macdonald’s Wikipedia page, “I don’t think there’s a single sentence in the first paragraph of ‘Career’ that isn’t GOLD,” our submitter spurts.

Which, at time of writing, read as such:

Reviewers have described Macdonald as softly spoken but with a booming singing voice. Despite her Scottish origins, her singing voice is described as partly Irish and similar to Dolores O’Riordan of The Cranberries. She has called herself a slight tomboy. On her MySpace blog, she mentions cars, such as Audis, and video games as her interests. Macdonald expressed how fast her life is moving when she mentions her admiration when meeting other singers from the UK such as Travis’s Fran Healy and Elton John.

Amazing.

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a rhythm section that’s tighter than your mother was when I took her virginity all those years ago

What happens when you put Sheffield’s shredtastic answer to Eddie Van Halen, a frontman that oozes machismo and proletariat street cool in a way that makes Liam Gallagher look like a public school educated effeminate fanny in comparison and a rhythm section that’s tighter than your mother was when I took her virginity all those years ago? I’ll tell you what happens, it’s called Shot Dead and it’s even better than receiving fellatio from the beautifully pert lips and wet mouth of Angelina Jolie.

With their onstage nonchalant Nihilism and a steadfast sense of self- confidence so strong it’d be all too easy to dismiss these guys as aloof and aggressive, you may even fear that you’d “just get a slap” from them if you were brave enough to attend one of their frenetic live shows. Indeed, such apprehension wouldn’t be *completely* misplaced… they could knock seven shades of shit out of you if they felt so inclined. These kids don’t fuck about. However in spite of this unnerving fact they are the antithesis generally speaking; quintessential English gentlemen, you’d struggle to meet four more grounded, humble and affable young men. Take it from me; it’s a genuine pleasure spending time in their company.

I implore everyone who reads this to attend their gigs and see for yourselves how raw and incandescent they are live. There’s a distinct and natural synergy when they play that bands 20 plus years their senior can’t hold a candle to. Fuck the monotonous and insincere mediocrity of the likes of Glasvegas, the Courteeners and Kasabian. Shot Dead represent the zeitgeist of UK lad culture better than they ever could.

Just what we need.

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sometimes you just have to go ‘eh?’

I’m leader of a fine band. We play (very) orinigal brit-pop, as well as cool covers from the 50s, The Beatles, McCartney etc. I also do very nice, musical acoustic sets on my own. (And if a venue has a piano it would be just unforgettable.) Presently the guys are like on their way to London, so I offer this, my own perfomance.

It is expensive (but free in case of some great showcase).

Eh?

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introducing raygun

Our submitter writes: “Thought you might enjoy the following video, involving a bunch of preposterously self-regarding wankers called Raygun. A mate sent me the link and I immediately thought of your website. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a band dress up quite such a paucity of ideas (both musical and intellectual) with such a ridiculous veneer of self-indulgent, over-the-top nonsense.

“Highlights include the singer complaining about the Jobcentre not being able to get him into the music industry, comparing their turgid pop-rock schlock to Berlin-era Bowie and James Brown, and wondering aloud what God thinks of him. Originally I thought they were a landfill indie version of The Darkness, but it appears they’re entirely without irony, which is pretty much the most terrifying thing I could imagine. Unsurprisingly, they’re already signed to Sony BMG.”

Humanity disgusts me.

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band as willing whores

Our band is fixing up gigs to support a new single release in Sept/Oct (via our own indie label) and a London PR company and radio plugger helping to push things along and raise our national (UK) profile that has building over the last year.

[The band] is a pop/rock guitar band with glamourous girl singer (from Kazakhstan). We play all our own material and have a non-standard set which includes elements of electronica supported by just two guitars. If you want a piegeon hole then we are fairly mainstream in the mould of Garbage,(but with a better singer :] no offence to Ms Manson, but thats what reviewers tell us) and a really phenomenal lead guitarist.

We would expect to bring some fans as we have a sizeable bunch of contacts in London waiting for us to play there. We understand how it works and are not against paying to get a good gig if our ticket sales dont meet a certain level. Support slots def considered.

Oh my WORD!

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