The Angry Years are a new band that want to sound like The Smiths playing Motown. They aren’t quite there yet, but their hope springs eternal.
Oh what the hell. I’m up for a free plug now and again.
Shut Up, Bands
because bands say the stupidest things
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- Quent: - John Sully: “cast them into the hip hop pits of hell where they belong” and ” God destroy hip hop and the record co.’s that suck on youth” - John Sully’s ‘friend’ Dylan Quent on...
_Posted 17 hours 7 minutes ago - iain: My main concern is that thats quite a nice organ that he’s sitting on. Wouldn’t want it to get damaged.
_Posted 8 days 13 hours ago - Zack: it would appear that yes, really, this is the album cover. oh, the mishaps they have – guitarist breaks string, doesn’t have a spare guitar: http://www.facebook.com/notes/ the-front-rank/technical-pr...
_Posted 9 days 15 hours ago - PC Teacher: Haha your band are pure shite you ginger 4 eyed tosser
_Posted 9 days 17 hours ago - Jeffrey: Dude if you threaten to beat up everybody that gives you a bad review, there is gonna be a lot of blood on your knuckles by the time you realise you’d better give it a rest.
_Posted 16 days 16 hours ago - lauren: although, jacks tounge needs cutting off, that swearing is not good, but i can see why he would be upset,there really good.
_Posted 17 days 14 hours ago
- Quent: - John Sully: “cast them into the hip hop pits of hell where they belong” and ” God destroy hip hop and the record co.’s that suck on youth” - John Sully’s ‘friend’ Dylan Quent on...
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Recent Comments
pat pat pat
our cause is vibration
Our submitter writes: “Thought I’d share a pretentious biography we were sent. It’s such bollocks you wouldn’t believe.” And they’re not bloody wrong, you know.
Our modus operandi is to be at the forefront of the ever evolving ‘nu-sound’, la. Unable to be TopShop’d due to an undefineable energy, whilst remaining recognisable and distinct. A musical group personification of ‘BROAD-BAND’, oh yes – an electrical musical collective creating sounds that encompass a range of popular pigeon holes, enjoyed by a myriad of ecclectic allsorts.
“We are waiting for you at the turning.”
- – - R E B E L S – - W I T H – - A – - C A U S E – - -Conceived in the eccentricity of Canterbury, England, BODYMACHINE! create energetic, inspirational, indie pop-art-noise for the evolving ’2012 generation’ of the 21stC, hmm. On the upwards strand of the double-helix of pop, they’re set to playfully rape your ear-machines. Early gigs include supporting the likes of GOOD SHOES, Fear Of Flying (White Lies), Rumble Strips, Ladyfuzz & Noisettes. In 2007 they opened the main stage at Lounge On The Farm festival alongside bands including The BEES & SUPER FURRY ANIMALS. The year also enjoyed watching them support The Moths and PUMPS at OSMC, and especially supporting The Bishops at the Poulpaphone festival in Boulogne, Francais.
OUR CAUSE IS NOT POLITICAL
‘POLITICS NEEDS YOUR MIND’
OUR CAUSE IS NOT CULTURAL
‘CULTURE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND’
OUR CAUSE IS VIBRATION
‘SOUND CREATION & REVERBERATION’Being 2 school 4 cool 7 you’re set to hear resurrected sounds with a twist as the stylophone is rinsed out, rising to musical fame once more, alongside driving drum rhythms and catchy riffs. Sign-wave vocals on the edge of sanity, like a melodic laser into your mind, are mixed into genreless sounds from odd misfits.
“Once you label me, you negate me.”
In 2008, promoting their sold out 2nd EP ‘we say body you say machine’ the machine men fulfilled their tour spanning of England – “CONSCIOUSNESS & CALENDARS”. Playing with bands such as Sunset Cinema Club, The Shallow Call and Post War Years, they solidified their changed formation and word spread about their powerful live performances. They consequently went into the white cliffs of Dover to plot new songs, which were played whilst opening BBC Radio 1′s Fringe Festival in Maidstone.
As their musical vision morphs solidly these four cyber-spirit-sapiens are a ‘must see’ for those who like to say “I was there”, indeed. Conspiring around conspiracy theories, feeding on large helpings of dark comedy and filled with existential angst, they lovingly infiltrate fear and ignorance in the only way they know how – by creating pop songs… effective…
As 2009 has a mid life crisis BM! are honing in on the zeitgeist and promoting the symbiotic/emergent features key to our species-machine. Catch the science of the BODY and the ghost in the MACHINE now!
“We have a world of pleasure to win, and nothing to lose but boredom.”
apparently, at the last few gigs the swearing has been especially colourful
IMPORTANT PRESS RELEASE FROM AN UNSIGNED BAND.
RANK UNDER FIRE OVER LANGUAGE ROW
The band have recently come under criticism over their excessive use or bad language. Apparently, at the last few gigs the swearing has been especially colourful. Front man ‘Terry’ ranted “We ain’t forcing people to come and see us, it’s up to the individual. If you go to see a rock’n’roll band you gotta expect a bit of language so I couldn’t give a fuck who I upset, if you don’t like go to a fuckin’ Elton John gig and leave us the fuck alone!” Guitarist ‘Rob’ added “Look, we’re a bunch of working class lads who drink, smoke, shag, play music and swear. We’re not gonna change our ways just to conform to the boy band, clean cut with matching white suits view that a small minority think we should adopt. We are what we are, so you better leave your sensitivity’s at the door if your gonna come and see us.”
The front rank will be playing there next gig @ [snip]
Something about punk not being dead, etc.
things you shouldn’t email, part 29442
ive enclosed 2 tracks they aren’t very good quality and don’t do the band justice
Cheers, thanks for that.
shut up, bands club nme takeover – get your guestlist requests in
Club NME have been foolish enough to let us take over running the room at the top at Koko, London, this Friday 31st July.
SHUT UP, BANDS presents DJ sets from DANCE MAGIC DANCE (THE OLD BLUE LAST), STEVE HORRY (THE 18 CARAT LOVE AFFAIR), KEITH TOTP (KEITH TOTP) and SHADY ADIE (SHUT UP, BANDS). From 10pm until 3am.
If you want to get on the £4 guestlist then email noyoushutup[at]shutupbands.com with the subject ‘koko’. Ta very much.
bonehead says they’ll be big
A manager writes:
“[The band] are very energetic live. The lead singer could be the new Bobby Gillespie and the drummer was just superb! One of the best unsigned acts around!” Bonehead,ex-Oasis guitarist.
Need I say anymore, I could write how were going to be bigger than the Beatles, I could tell you how important were going to be, BUT I wont. You will be e-mailing me back telling me this after you have listened to [the band]. So sit back and ENJOY!!!!
Ugh.
shut up, dagenham. and promoters.
A band writes: “This is genius. The prestigious Flex Nightclub in Dagenham! A record deal with a well respected label, a UK single entry AND a full press release! A press release!!! Amazing. The competition is on Weds 22nd July but started in June! Truly, the CHANCE OF LIFE TIME!
I’ve bolded my favourite bits.”
This is a CHANCE OF LIFE TIME!
Iconic Productions, Flex Nightclub and [Energy drink I'm not reprinting here unless they send me loads of the stuff for free] have come together and created a battle of the bands which any band would want to be involved in.
Winning band will get a record deal with a well respected label, uk single entry, full press release and lots of cash!
VENUE: Flex Nightclub, Dagenham.
PERFORMANCE TIME: 4 Songs!!!!!WE ONLY HAVE 4 SPACES LEFT IN THE WHOLE COMPETITION WHICH IS THIS WEDNESDAY 22ND JULY [that'll be, ooh, today?]!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Started in June and run for 8 Heats, 4 Quarter Finals, 2 Semi Finals then Grand Final will be 7th October
If intrested please reply with
Band Setup – Guitarists, Vocalists etc
Band Contact Details.Thanks
Tom Iconic Team
COOL. THANKS. WHERE DO I SIGN?
unfortunately, this event was postponed
We would appreciate it if you would entertain having the band on stage at your venue.
The band have played numerous festivals over the past few years, including being invited to play the Deptford Festival, London, and the prestigious ‘Caerphilly Big Cheese’
This year, the band was due to appear at the ‘Castle Rock Festival’, Caldicot, which included such acts as Terrovision, Gun and It Bites. Unfortunately, this event was postponed. (LOL – ed.)
May 2009 has seen the long-awaited release of the band’s first album… The album is currently receiving massive airplay in the UK , USA , Europe, Canada and Australia, and the band is in constant demand for interviews.
I doubt that.
shut up, the bluetones
In 1996 The Bluetones turned down an interview request. I’m still not sure I have entirely got over this.
“Your fanzine features Orlando & Plastic Fantastic therefore it is not worth the paper it is on! We may considered it otherwise. Yours, The Bluetones.”
KISS KISS WITH COMPLIMENTS.
shut up, fanzine writers
Some old fan-mail.
a biog verging on the, some might say, extreme
White noise, black soul and riotous, timeless pink pop perfection. Your first love. Your last breath. Your head or heart on a stick. Like when sex is so great it makes you want to come again. Then die.
!!!
the funk is coming. run to the hills
Now a three piece funk/rock outfitt, [the band] cite influences from The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Bob Marley, Led Zeppelin, and Reef. With kick ass riffs, funky bass lines, driving drums and frequent percussive support [the band] are gauranteed to offer you one funky mother fucking night!
GOOD GRIEF!
chesterfield and sheffield
Our latest EP release went straight to number 1 in the both Chesterfield and Sheffield independent single charts and then remained in the top 10 for the next 4 weeks. Selling a total of 214 CDs over the 4 weeks.
Ummmmmmmm. The “Chesterfield and Sheffield independent single charts”?
shut up, soul singers
Found in Music And Video Exchange, Greenwich.
the door person probably hates you
Now, it’s the CREDIT CRUNCH and everything (yawn etc), so some of us poor souls who don’t fancy prostitution have to look for work elsewhere. Unfortunately for some, this includes working on the door in a music venue: taking people’s money and giving them a hand stamp. What a great life. If you ever do this then take a book for the quiet nights (there will be many) – there are only so many times you can read the same copy of The Fly.
Good god, imagine that – holed up in the same room as four scruffy indie oiks make some awful racket in the hope that the A&R scout from Buttfukk Records is there, like he said he would be in that email he sent them three months previously. “I will check you out when you play London!” it said. In Comic Sans font.
But no. No, no, no! This is not often the most painful part of the lowly door person’s job – the pain lies in having to deal with the people actually trying to get into the gig. Among the legit fans and lovely people who pay up without complaint (apart from perhaps whinging about the size of the AMITTEDLY RIDICULOUSLY MASSIVE hand-stamp they have to wash off before they go to work the next day) are The Blaggers Who Are Not On The Guestlist, and they really do need taken outside and poked straight in the eye socket with a rusty kebab skewer.
- The parents. Now I know these mean well but just because you spawned one of these musical geniuses on stage, it does not give you anymore right to get in free. Pay up. Our favourite one of these was a man who looked like he was about to try to blag it. “My son is playing on stage,” he said, before pausing for a good five seconds then adding, “if you can call it that,” and handed over a fiver.
- The person who somehow manages to sneak in through the fire exit (well done) but then makes the mistake of going up to the door person and asking for their hand to get stamped, cos they now want to go to the bar in the other room. How thick are you?
- The ‘I Just Want To See If My Friend Is Here’ blagger. These people never, ever return.
- The ‘I Just Want To Go To The Bar’ blagger. Go to a different bar then – one where bands aren’t playing. You’ll probably have a far more pleasurable time.
- Person who walks in with mobile attached to ear. “DO NOT DISTURB ME,” it aims to scream. Don’t pretend you can hear your phone when there’s a loud band on stage, idiot.
- The ‘I Have No Money’ or ‘If I Pay To Go In The I’ll Have No Money For Beer’ blagger. Well, cry your eyes out, saddo, cos if we all had the money to do things we wanted all the time, do you really think people would actively choose to work on a door in a music venue? Pay up or go back home to your crack habit.
- Person claiming to be from EMI. And it’s always EMI. Dunno why. “Yeah, just thought I’d come in and, er, check out the bands.” Don’t lie. This pretty much never, ever happens. Give us yer money, we can give you a receipt. You can claim it back on expenses. “Er, no, that’s OK.” (Man From EMI shuffles off.) OK, bye then!
- Pretending to show a hand-stamp but then withdrawing hand very quickly and putting it back in pocket. No, try that again, slower this time, please…
- Man with tats all over hand so you can’t tell if he’s actually got a hand stamp already or not. Admittedly, this one is a bit more rare.
Bastards, the lot of you.
Got anymore ‘tricks’ to add to the list?
possessed by the combined spirits of oscar wilde and phil lynott
Demo received 9th October 2007. Band split May 2009.
Possessed by the combined spirits of Oscar Wilde and Phil Lynott, [the singer] was the final piece of the puzzle, and from the off it was clear the band were all on the same wavelength, with the early studio sessions producing stunning re-workings of some of the band’s existing material as well as a clutch of breathtaking new songs.
[The band] have emerged from the wreckage of last year leaner, meaner and ready to take on all comers for the undisputed title of ‘Best live act in Britain’.
And that, as they say, was the end of that.
something about managment contracts or the music industry or something
Another classic example of the time-wasting email.
**** are proud to announce taking over the management contract of ****, we thought we had lost these guys to another management company however after careful negations we have come to agreement with there old management company to take over there contract. We are so excited about this band and are positive with the right direction they will soon be making big noises in the music industry.
There’s just no need, is there? Really. We don’t care.
imagine the stone roses reborn as great musicians
I would really like you guys to put on a band I am managing called ****. They have a totally unique style and break the mould of your average band and I expect great things out of them. They fuse their love of playing indie, blues and rock’n'roll guitars and drums with electro basslines, loops, synths and fx. They do it all live and there are just two of them!
If youre a fan of Holy Fuck, White Stripes, Kasabian, Death From Above, Hot Chip, Digitalism, LCD SoundSystem, Cream, Jimi Hendrix and Led Zeppelin, youll love these guys!
Hmm.
**** have played Goo Nite, Hope and Anchor, Bull and Gate, Cargo, Rythm Factory, Legion, Mass, Proud Galleries ‘ Bangers and Mash’, Bar Fly, Half Moon, and are playing the Peoples day Festival 2009 in July.
Here are some reviews -
With influences as diverse as Pixies, The Cure, Led Zep, The Small Faces, Hot Chip and LCD Soundsystem, they make a hell of a racket for a two-piece. Just lately, they sound like The White Stripes and Second Coming-era Stone Roses jamming with New Order. Yup – told you they were good. – PopJunkie
**** are our new tip for 2008/09. Someone out there could make a load of dosh from these. If you can imagine the Stone Roses reborn as great musicians and then you’d have this lot. The sounds they made was hypnotic and dancey but without losing sight of the tunes. by the time they went on, most of the crowd were hammered and loving every minute of it. A definite must see – The Tube Club
The Tube Club. Fuck off, The Tube Club. Always great for a cringe-worthy quote. “Imagine the Stone Roses reborn as great musicians…” Oh please – whatever you think of their music, those guys were obviously great musicians. John Squire, Mani, Reni – ESPECIALLY Reni – all amazing.
OK, the less said about Ian Brown’s vocals the better.
logo fail
It’s a good idea to check the spelling of your logo before plastering on your page, hmm?
Their Myspace has since been deleted. What a pity.