Shut Up, Bands

More pretentious twaddle for your ‘amuse’.

Canterbury’s most turbulent rock n roll band. Probably Canterbury’s only rock n roll band. An unfortunate group of fumbling idiots prone to unaccountable bursts of self-confidence and wholly explainable bouts of self-flagellation. Itinerant, loathsome and loutish cads determined to fuck up or be fucked up. Imitators and thieves of genuine talent. Under-qualified borrowers from the holy pantheon of rock n roll music.

Notably, there is no music on their Myspace page.

From the Northern Ireland local scene, comes this.

Hello. An odd topic, but I don’t care.
My boys and I recently reformed after a brief hiatus
over Christmas and the New Year and we want gigs NOW.

Our band name is [BAND] and we’re a tight as fuck, rocktastic,
beautifully melodic, sexually toxic bag of eye cabdy for the girls (and guys wink)
We had a myspace, but I short-sightedly deleted it due to a break down in communication;
We all thought each other member wanted to go their seperate way, but in reality none of us did.
I can supply MULTIPLE samples, songs and images from previous photoshoots, until I get a new page up and running.

We’re best suited for playing with bands within the range of metal – rock – Alternative (Industrial,Technical,Acoustic,W’eva);
We’re too heavy and original for Indie (lol), but too melodic and faggy for anything extreme.

We’ll play whenever for whatever. We just want to really get gigging again.

See y’all soon!

Our submitter writes: “As if my last mail wasn’t enough, the band edited their post to include the following:”

P.S. If the gig’s local, in the [XXXXXX] area, we can ensure a mass of females. Not joking. Just know in doing so, we expect our cut; We’re Enthusiastic, not Naive!

School bands are pretty obvious targets – YES, I KNOW – but all of them featured here can at least say they’ll never be as bad as Hackley School’s cover of ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’. Yes, it’s an oldie but a goodie.

Niceties out of the way…

To save future embarrassment, band names would normally be removed but quite frankly I’ve been ill for the last fortnight and am in a spectacularly bad mood, so here is today’s missive in full with links. The video is worth watching if you can stomach all 5+ minutes of it. We like the fact they couldn’t be bothered lugging the drum kit to the beach so the drummer has to mime to a non-existent kit.

TR8R are a young Indie/Alternative/Power Pop band based in Chesham, Buckinghamshire, with influences including Paramore, Muse, Lost Prophets, Arctic Monkeys & Blur.

TR8R ARE;

Vicky, 19 yrs, Vocals.
Mikey, 16 yrs, Guitar.
George, 16 yrs, Bass.
Conor, 15 yrs, Drums.

Formed in 2008 TR8R are currently under management with KMD Studios, they are busy writing, rehearsing and performing at every available opportunity, constantly becoming more popular within the local music scene and across the UK. Despite their young age they appeal to a wide age group and attract a good audience wherever they perform. Their fan-base is ever growing and has led to a demand for the sales of merchandise and the release of their first E.P. “Numbers”.

Many people have commented on the maturity of their writing skills and this has been proven with their continued success in the various competitions they take part in. Through the rest of this year TR8R will be recording their first album, they intend to attract as much media interest as possible and are busying up their live schedule to reach a wide audience and increase their fan-base.

Their live performance is bursting with energy and includes a superb mix of covers and original material, if you’re looking for a band that people will remember and want to see time and time again, then look no further!

For bookings, reviews, merchandise, music and all things TR8R please visit the following;

http://www.tr8r.co.uk

http://www.lemonrock.com/tr8r

http://www.facebook.com/pages/TR8R/122223325330

http://www.myspace.com/tr8r07

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THEIR WEBSITE (with guest commentary from our submitter)

VICKY

Influences and Inspirations:
Nickelback, Paramore, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Puddle of Mud, Seraphim, Billy Talent, Michelle Branch, Leane Rhymes, Hayley Westenra….the list goes on forever! [if that's true, why did you put all the shit bands at the beginning??]

“I went for piano lessons when I was 11 and my teacher said that I should consider singing, so I did, and here we are!” [translation: you were so shit at piano your teacher palmed you off onto some other poor bastard]

Favourite Drink:
Water [\m/]

If I ruled the World…
I would enforce my own rules and if people didn’t like them I would throw them off! [*fear*]

MIKEY

Background:
I am attend Chesham Park Community College and due to my love of music and am taking Music and Music Technology at A-level. My plan at the moment is to continue on the career path of life in management and production after A-level or fulfil my dream by playing pro in a band. [Well if that doesn't work out you could always teach English. Oh wait...]

GEORGE

People will tell you I have a very wide taste in music, from the Mamma Mia soundtrack to Rage Against the Machine… [snip]

CONOR

My favourite music styles are a bit of Pop-Rock, Club Rave, Funk-Rock basically anything with a rocky side that I can boogie to! However, I dislike Screamo, Emo and basically anything that depresses me. [I know drums are loud but HAVEN'T YOU HEARD YOUR OWN BAND?!?!]

HIGHLIGHT OF GIG LIST

Thursday 12th March 2009
Red Nose Day, Chesham Park School

[...aaaaaand I'm spent.]

Peter Parker – His Voice. His Rockin Guitar. His Stompin. No one else can tear up the stage the way he does. He rips it up! Giving everything. Never holds back. Losing himself. Asking for nothing in return. He doesn’t care when he’s up there. The audience knows. And they go CRAZY! Screaming. Singing. Dancing. He moves. Stamps a rocking rhythm. His feet banging on the stage. Like an African Tribal dancer. Swinging his guitar this way and that. The world has never seen anything like it. And never will again. They want a piece. But they can’t have it. No one else can do what he does. One man. His guitar. His sweet sweet valve amplifier. His Soul. His Spirit. Never fearing. Facing the unknown. On an adventure. Bringing everyone together. But just for the moment. That’s the way it should be. Then he’s gone. To live life his way. The audience theirs. And they know. Peter Parker rocks.

Subject: Band fromIndia
Message: Greetings from India! I am vocalist and co-songwriter with Kolkata (Calcutta) based quartet, PINKNOISE. We make music that is a quirky stew of contradictions. This is fearless music and this is the way we live in India. “The Dance Of The Diaspora” (2010). Folk music has always come from the village. But now, the city has its own folk music, too. We speak English when we’re polite. But our exclamation marks are in the mother tongue. The food on the table is continental. Before bed, it’s Sanskrit prayers at night. This can only happen in India. Where the culture is ancient. The attitude is future. And the state of peace is an unlikely mix of madness and endless calm. These songs are stories of the Indian diaspora. They are interfaces. Between lullaby and rap. Between South Indian temple dance and electro beats. Between elephant gods and thugs. Between back-then and tomorrow. In the now. You can hear the “Diaspora” demos at www.pinknoise.bandcamp.com “PINKFRAUD” (2009). Our irreverently tricked-out deconstructions of 10 select Pink Floyd songs ranging from the staple to the obscure. One enraged fan put it best after hearing them: “PINKNOISE is the worst thing to happen not just to music but to life in general.” Success! You can hear “San Tropez” and “Lucifer Sam” at www.myspace.com/itspinknoise “Quirkwork” (2009). Ghost grooves. Tricky treats. Hybrid chords assault the hordes. Electric texture. Good to eat. Melodies like demented swords. This music was crafted to challenge. Ourselves. And the audience. Twisted. Tongue-in-cheek. Acidly aggressive. Deceptively sweet. You can hear “Quirkwork” at www.pinknoise.bandcamp.com and watch some tunes on www.youtube.com/itspinknoise We plan to travel to the UK this summer and would love to perform at Sub 61. Thank you for reading. We look forward to hearing from you. With best regards, Jayashree Singh + + + PINKNOISE is: Jayashree Singh Voice Amyt Datta Guitar, Synth Gyan Singh Bass Jivraj Singh Beats www.itspinknoise.com www.pinknoise.bandcamp.com www.youtube.com/itspinknoise www.myspace.com/itspinknoise